I Remember…

I remember that my parents brought me to be baptized when I was a squalling two month old who didn’t know his hand from his foot. Pastor Rumsch poured water on my little bald head and baptized me in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. Suddenly, by God’s grace and the sacred waters of baptism, I was washed clean, gifted with the Holy Spirit and named a child of God. That I don’t directly remember this spiritual birth any more than I remember my physical birth doesn’t matter, my parents told me about it and that is part of the grace I received. My believing parents brought me to God, faith passed on. Thank you Mom and Dad.

I remember sitting in the little tiered “jury box” my last year of confirmation classes as Pastor Rumsch paced in front of us on linoleum worn white by his shoes over the years holding Luther’s Small Catechism open in his hand. His, no doubt, wise words bounced off my brain like pistol rounds pinging off a rock without leaving an impression. I sat in fear of being asked a question knowing I had failed to memorize my catechism. How I survived the final oral exam in front of the congregation and was confirmed must be chalked up to God’s grace. I was jealous that most of the kids in my class stopped going to Sunday School and even church after we were confirmed while Mom made me keep going. I am thankful for my Mom’s perseverance… now.

I remember my first Communion. Now that I was confirmed I could receive like everyone else. It was with some excitement that I walked down the aisle toward the altar but then I tried to remember what I was taught about this sacrament. I couldn’t recall any of the stuff I was supposed to have memorized. I got a little panicky as we knelt at the communion rail and racked my brains for answers but none came. Suddenly I was offered the wafer, “the body of Christ”, and tried to chew at the tough disc as the tray of little cups of wine was offered to me, “the blood of Christ”, and gasped at the alcohol burn. I was as clueless at this sacrament as I was when I was baptized only this time I knew it. I am thankful for God’s mercy.

I remember going back to church again after nearly twenty years of being away. Called back like a salmon who returns to the stream it was hatched in, I let instinct lead me back to a Lutheran church. Only now my brain was no longer an impenetrable stone and even my heart was a little softer. I came to love God, church, the Bible and communion; they became the center of my world. I thank God for his patience.

I remember the recent but growing call to the Catholic Church, the doubts, the worries, my attempts to ignore it, to explain it away and put it off. The dis-ease of trying to dodge around this call, the internal stresses caused by shrugging off God’s directions finally reached a crisis point this summer. I had the desperate need to act, an almost instinctual knowledge that it would be spiritually perilous for me if I continued to do nothing. So I called Holy Apostles to ask for information, secretly wondering how long I could sit on that information, but when I talked to Mary Wax she thought it would be best if I just came down to talk in person… and she was free. I thank God for His persistence and Mary for her timeliness.

I will not forget the people sent to guide me on my way: my sponsor Larry, calm, cheerful, down-to-earth and always ready to answer my questions; my classroom table leaders David and Dean, knowledgeable, earnest and with a wonderfully warped sense of humor; the other sponsors at the table, Kate and Bill; and my fellow learners at the table, Aric, James and Chris whose stories and insights buoyed my own faith. And Father Len for granting me such a mercy.

Larry wrote me a letter of encouragement, I’d like to share one paragraph…

“Your spiritual growth will be a lifelong adventure that will be played out daily. By getting to know God, you will feel more comfortable allowing God to show you the way to reflect your Catholic faith. Over time, your faith will begin to be reflected more and more in your daily life.  Do not worry about doubts. From time to time we all struggle with our small holes of unbelief. As you make your lifelong journey to know God and with a rich prayer life, God will help you to fill any holes of unbelief you may have experienced. You will find your way.”

Thank you Larry for being a hole filler!

I will not forget Saturday evening, the Easter Vigil. A lot of the Vigil was about remembering, making the past present so the gifts of God through the ages would be gifts for us as well here and now just like my infant baptism is still a gift, present and real for me now.

We remembered that Jesus Christ is our only light in a sin dark world.

We remembered that God created the universe and life and proclaimed it good. He made humans in His image and blessed us which makes us unique in creation… set apart… holy. God was so pleased with His creation he called it very good. We are not an afterthought or a God sized accident.

We remembered the example of Abraham who was willing to sacrifice his only son Isaac. Abraham loved God more than anything else in his life… what did that do to his relationship with Isaac? Evidently it survived and God’s blessings were passed on. Faith is more shown that taught.

We remembered how God busted the Israelites free from slavery in Egypt helping them escape through the sea prefiguring our own escape from bondage to sin through the waters of baptism.

We remembered how God was willing to warn the Jews of their disobedience and it’s consequences, showing us He is not a gotcha-god but is a loving Father.

We remembered how God offered the Jews a way back to him after they callously rejected him assuring us of His great mercy and desire to forgive.

We remembered that this picture we have of God from the Old Testament is made complete in Jesus Christ so that by dying with Him, dying to sin, we will rise with Him. Christ made the ancient stories present and true for us.

And we remembered that Christ rose from the dead, we have nothing to fear!

Then we got to witness dozens of our brothers and sisters in Christ get baptized after which we all renewed our baptismal vows… again making the past present to us. Then those of us who were baptized in Protestant churches professed our faith in the teachings of the Catholic Church to be revealed by God.

Yes, I am a Catholic!

Then the whole group of us, nearly 100 people, were Confirmed. Father John anointed us with oil and sealed us with the gift of the Holy Spirit and we were given a red stole to welcome us to the Church. And then we got to the part we’d all been waiting for…

The Eucharist!

Even in this sacred act we are remembering, making the past part of our present, part of our lives. But these memories aren’t lines in a book or thoughts in our brain or symbols in our imagination but really and truly Jesus Christ, His Body, His Blood, inside us, fueling our lives.

It was with a certain giddy excitement that I received, I’m pretty sure I was grinning like a fool through it all but I was feeling such gratitude… They call it a celebration for a reason.

I want to end this with the prayer Larry wrote for me and I pray it now for you all.

May God bless you! May he make you lie down in green pastures and lead you beside still waters. May he always restore your soul and lead you in paths of righteousness… always.

Belonging To Christ

“That’s gonna leave a mark.”

No doubt you’ve heard that quip from one of your witty and unhelpful friends after you’ve taken a spectacular tumble or bashed your head into something low and hard. If it wasn’t for the pain and blood you could think up all kinds of caustic comebacks.  As it is, deep down you know the smart ass is right, you just earned yourself a new scar.

As we play snow-day-cancellation-catch-up in RCIA classes (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) at the Catholic church we have been combining subjects into single sessions. Our last one combined the Sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation and Holy Orders which may seem odd but it struck me that what these three have in common is they all leave a permanent mark on their recipient. These marks are not scars, which imply pain and damage, nor do they involve tattoo artists or hot branding irons.

The mark is spiritual.

This indelible spiritual mark means that we belong to Christ. The Catholic Church calls this mark “character.” The word character here has a theological definition and does not refer to our personality or our moral actions. Its definition is akin to the remark in the first few verses of Hebrews:

¹ In times past, God spoke in partial and various ways to our ancestors through the prophets; ² in these last days, he spoke to us through a son, whom he made heir of all things and through whom he created the universe,                                                                       ³ who is the refulgence of his glory,                                                                                                          the very imprint of his being…

 

Christ is the “imprint” of God.  In Baptism, Confirmation and Holy Orders we receive the imprint, the seal, the distinction, the brand, the mark, the character of Christ, meaning we are His.

This sacramental character can’t be removed by sin (though sin can prevent these Sacraments from bearing the fruit of salvation), it is a supernatural mark on our souls which is why we can take part in these three Sacraments only once in our lives. This means the mark has more of a legal or official nature rather than a grace that changes us which is why it is possible to reject God and his grace and still retain the mark of Christ. Of course it is God’s intention that the grace and the character go together so that the mark becomes a sign of grace.

I’m sensing that you’re unimpressed, that you might be thinking this character thing is just more Catholic nonsense that gets in the way of a simple relationship with Christ. I’m using a lot of words on it because it struck me as a most beautiful and comforting reality and because it reminded me of the movie Toy Story. Remember how the boy Andy only wrote his name on his favorite toys? We see in the beginning of the movie how Woody, the cowboy doll who is Andy’s favorite toy, is transformed by having Andy’s name on the bottom of his boot. He loves that he belongs to Andy, the very thought of separation from Andy horrifies him. Because he is the favorite he is the leader of all Andy’s toys, not in a dictatorial sense but in that he encouraged everyone and helped give them a sense of purpose and belonging. We are like Woody only it is Christ’s name on us. The wonderful, life transforming news is that we get to “play” with Christ because…

We belong to Christ!

So let’s briefly look at these three Sacraments:

Baptism is one of the three sacraments of initiation (the other two are Confirmation and the Eucharist). It is a sign and symbol of dying and rising with Christ, of cleansing and is necessary for salvation. Because it is a God given Sacrament this sign and symbol actually accomplishes what it symbolizes. We actually receive the remission of original sin (sadly the hangover from the effects of original sin is still there…); we are truly born into a new life as Gods adoptive child; we really do get made part of the church and are bonded with other Christians; and then there’s that character thing.

I’m pretty sure all Christian denominations baptize though for many it is merely a symbol but Confirmation as a grace bestowing Sacrament is limited to the Catholic and Orthodox churches. Confirmation is a necessary completion of baptismal grace. Confirmation, in a way, continues the grace of Pentecost when the Apostles received the Holy Spirit preparing them to get out there and spread the Good News. In Confirmation there is an increase and a deepening of all the effects of baptism so we are strengthened to get out there and serve. And there’s the spiritual mark.

You’re probably wondering, “Did the Catholics just make this stuff up?”

To become a Jew an outsider had to receive instruction, take a ritual bath of purification, men got circumcised, they read the Law, they made the necessary Passover sacrifices then participated in a Passover meal. Christ changed this up a bit by emphasizing the bath and meal but if you look at how new converts were brought into the church from the first century it followed a similar pattern. This is the same pattern we see in the Catholic church today built into the Sacraments of Initiation. Instruction, baptism, Confirmation (sealing and anointing), culminating in the Eucharistic meal. These ancient rites are not just pretty antiques with a good resale value but make present the grace of God and bear fruit in those who receive them in faith.

The Sacrament of Holy Orders (bishops, priests and deacons) is meant to “serve the communion of the church” which means it is, like the Sacrament of Marriage, directed toward the salvation of others. God established the priesthood in the Old Testament and Christ is the perfect fulfillment of that priesthood which is why the New Testament refers to him as our High Priest. Christ didn’t have disciples, a special group of twelve disciples, so he could have his own little church.  He was raising up leaders… he was preparing priests on whom he bestowed in a special way the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Were those twelve meant to be it?

No! Immediately in Acts we see the Apostles raising up and laying hands (bestowing the Holy Spirit) on new leaders. Of course every baptized believer shares in Christ’s priesthood but that “ordinary” priesthood needs teaching and building up which is why Christ established a ministerial priesthood. There has to be leaders.

Holy Orders though are more than just a fancy leadership, it is sacramental. Ordination confers on bishops and priests the gift of the Holy Spirit that “permits the exercise of a sacred power…” that is, to act in the person of Christ. They are a living sign and symbol of Christ. Oh and there is the brand of Christ. This is some big stuff and I plan to dig deeper into it in the future.

You’re probably wondering if the sacramental character can only be received once why is it repeated through each of these three sacraments?

Repetition is not what is happening.

The spiritual mark is not repeated but added to, enlarged and deepened. We begin as a child, the mark is simple but we are not called to stay put but to grow in faith. It is the name of Christ we are imprinted with but Christ is anything but simple and to follow Him is to grow in wisdom, understanding, knowledge, right judgment, courage, reverence, wonder and awe. To have the name of Christ written on us should make us like Woody, we should be thrilled and inspired and above all want to stay connected to our Owner.

Unlike the boy Andy in Toy Story God does not play favorites but places his mark on anyone who seeks Him through Baptism, Confirmation and Holy Orders so that everyone privileged to have this mark can reach out to encourage, feed, clothe and house others and show them they too can have a purpose, that they too belong. May the Holy Spirit help us live out that calling and experience the joy of being Christs own.

Lead On!

There are times I look at the Sacraments, the water, the wine and bread, the oil, the words and actions and I wonder how such common things can bestow grace. They seem like a rickety bridge to God, better yet would be flames on our heads or foreign languages spouting from our mouths. Maybe a voice from heaven or a rumble in the earth would be a better sort of sign and symbol for us rather than getting wet in front of the congregation.

But then today is the feast of the Baptism of the Lord.

We see Christ baptized in Matthew, Mark and Luke while we hear a witness to it’s results in the gospel of John. These accounts are beautiful because they all attest to the Holy Spirit’s visual arrival on the scene and the Father’s loving words for his Son. This baptism was a family affair, the whole Trinity made a showing. If nothing else, the presence of the Trinity makes crossing the rickety bridge worth it and to know that we too are declared beloved children of God.

What really gets me though is the conversation between John and Baptist and Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew.

“Whoa now Jesus, this doesn’t make any sense. You should be washing MY sins away.”

“I know cousin but go along with me on this. I need to do this because it’s the right thing to do. If I’m going to command my followers to do this shouldn’t I show them the way?”

“So be it.”

I’ve taken liberties with the gospel account but it seems to me that if Christ wants us to cross a rickety bridge he is going to be the first one to cross it, he’s going to show us the way.

May we overcome our doubts and fears by keeping our eyes on Jesus Christ.  May we find such joy in following him that instead of asking, “is it safe?” we shout “lead on Lord!”

Extravagant Love

Hyde Park Mennonite Fellowship, Boise

One of the hymns we sang yesterday was “I Love to Tell the Story” and without warning I became choked up in the middle of the song and couldn’t continue singing. I’m sitting in the back pew of a church full of strangers and this wave of nostalgia washed over me and I found myself thinking about my mom and tearing up so I couldn’t even see the hymnbook. In fact I got myself all wound up again just now when I listened to the song on YouTube for my link. What gives?

I remember singing that song and “Jesus Loves Me” down in the basement of Pilgrim Lutheran before Sunday School got started when I was a kid. Mrs. Parkhurst would be banging out the tune on the old upright piano and mom and another lady would lead us in the songs. We could sing loud and off key and no one cared.

The basement was a dank place with a low ceiling and served as a storage area as much as it did for K-3 Sunday School. The “classes” were basically cubicles separated by chalkboards. Each contained a table with benches on either side and a chair at the end for the teacher. Mom and Mrs. Parkhurst taught second grade and the goal of my young life was to be in mom’s class. I never reached that goal.

I understand now why they didn’t make a mother have her own kid in class but at the time it was a big disappointment for me. Mrs. Parkhurst was mom’s best friend and was not much taller than us second graders though she was as wide as she was tall and had crazy frizzy hair. It was torture being in her class. She was strict and boring which I could have handled but at the same time I could hear excitement and laughter coming from mom’s cubicle next door.

I tried crawling under the chalkboard on a couple of occasions but it didn’t work. If only mom hadn’t recognized  me! Actually I got in big trouble. Mom had strong, hardworking Scandinavian hands and she would pinch the tender piece of skin on the back of your arm when she wanted to get your attention. The hold worked like Spock’s Vulcan neck grab only instead of making you pass out mom’s pinch gave her total control of your movements. She could march you anywhere whether you wanted to go or not and whether you cried or screamed or not.

“Ow ow ow ow,” then sullenly, “hi Mrs. Parkhurst.”

Good times.

The Mennonites came out of the Anabaptist movement. In the early days of the Protestant Schism the main movers and shakers were Luther and Zwingli. From Luther of course came the Lutheran church in Germany; too bad in Switzerland they didn’t name the church after Zwingli, what a fun mouthful that would be. As it was from Zwingli, Calvin and others we get the Reformed churches (Presbyterians in Great Britain) in the rest of Europe.

In those early, heady days of the Reformation leaders were more sure of what they weren’t going to be than than how they intended to do church. As ideas began to solidify there was suddenly room to reform the reformers. Conrad Grebel represented the left wing of the Reformed churches and sought a more radical break from the Catholic church. He and his supporters rejected many of the Lutheran and Reformed doctrines as merely continuing Catholic practices and insisted on free churches, believer’s baptism, pacifism, and no oath taking among other things.

The distinction they were most known for was believer’s baptism and their insistence that the infant baptisms that everyone had received in the Catholic church were not really baptisms and bordered on blasphemy. Therefore they baptized people who converted even if they had been baptized as an infant. Anabaptist means  ‘to baptize again’ though they obviously denied it was a re-baptism. Since re-baptism was illegal many who performed these acts were arrested and executed.

Anabaptists cropped up all over Europe; some were more radical and bellicose, fomenting armed rebellion and earning Anabaptists a bad name. Both mainline Protestants and Catholics suppressed the Anabaptists. Mennonites were not of the violent school.

Menno Simons, a Catholic priest converted to Anabaptism and if you stare real hard at his first name you will figure out where the Mennonites got their name. The Hyde Park church is not an “ethnic Mennonite” body nor do they ride horse drawn buggies and would fall on the liberal end of the Mennonite spectrum. Sorry to go on so long but the Anabaptist/Mennonites were a mystery to me.

The pastor’s sermon was based on John 12:1-8 when Mary anoints Jesus’ feet with perfume and rubs it in with her hair while Judas objects. He said that as a member of a church that emphasizes social justice he could understand Judas’ objections but that we need to remember that faithfulness comes before effectiveness. Sometimes faithfulness looks like impractical, wasteful, extravagant love and we should be inspired by Mary to do the same.

Which brings me back to mom.

I can sort of see where churches are coming from who hold with ‘believers baptism’ only. It seems more effective. It sounds more Biblical. It’s emotional impact appears more immediate. But let me tell you that infant baptism is where you find extravagant love displayed!

As a two month old my world was wrapped around eating, excreting, sleeping and demanding to be carried. My little brain and heart could not accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. What an impractical waste it seems to baptize such a faithless lump.

But my mother believed!

Mom understood I was more than a squalling beast, that I had a soul, that I had an eternal future, that I wasn’t just her son but God’s child as well. She knew I needed Jesus. So she brought me to church to receive forgiveness, grace and membership through baptism. I didn’t know what was going on but mom did. And in doing that she had to make promises to be my spiritual guide. To be a faithful parent. Does this seem nice but misguided to you?

Leave her alone!

Just as Mary poured perfume meant to anoint the dead over Christ’s feet even though he was NOT dead mom had water poured over me to seal my faith even though I had NO personal faith. Both actions seem nonsensical but both are displays of faith in a God who transcends what we consider sensible.

Born again?  Impractical.

Resurrection?  Irrational.

The Trinity?  Nonsense.

The Church?  Wasteful.

God become man?  Give me a break.

Believer’s baptism only?  Makes sense.

Hmmmm.

Parents who bring their babies to be baptized are displaying a bold trust in a timeless God who sees not a clueless baby but a whole life spread out like a road map with all its twists and turns. The parents can’t see this and most likely they don’t understand it and yet they believe.

That my friends is extravagant love, a love that doesn’t wait for the right moment but acts. Now.

Thank you mom for loving Jesus so much that you dedicated not just your own life but your sons lives to Him as well.