Eat, Drink and be Unified

Like a dry mouth choked with dust and fear the wafer stuck to my tongue and did not dissolve. Pain and fear seem to cancel everything good; my muscles have no strength, my brain cannot think and hope seems a foolish wish. Lashes and mockery give me focus but no relief. The rough wood perches on my shoulders like a vulture waiting to pick my bones white. I am raised and I gasp for breath and death comes…

The doughy flavor was sweet, I chew and am glad it lasts for it reminds me of good things. I think of cakes and pies, the smell of baking bread and the thick hearty soup to go with it. Bread can sop stew and push peas onto a fork. Cut a slice and layer it with a slab of ham off the bone, sharp cheddar and thick slices of dill pickle till you cover it in tangy mustard and yet another slice of bread. Such flavor, such a gift, so much grace…

The red wine in the bottom of the cup seems to glow, its brightness almost bursts out of the glass like hot blood spurting from a butchered bull. I smell the stockyard stink of cattle and sheep and hear the confused calls of offered animals. Priests are covered in gore as they sharpen knives. It is a slaughterhouse, the reek of blood and the greasy smoke remind us of our collective transgressions. My hands rest on my shaking lamb, my own sins accusing me yet leaving me as his blood is spilled. I leave grateful yet…

I flinched as the wine touched my lips.  It was sharp and bitter and burned on the way down. It was a disappointment, like a friend who promised to help but never showed up. Like a disciple who was ready to die but could not. Like a leader who promises triumph but delivers only sorrow. Like faith that merely deceives. Like a sponge filled with vinegar. If only we knew the end of the story…

I cross my arms on my chest, hands on shoulders, because X marks the spot, it marks my heart. My heart is an organ that pumps blood throughout my body but I don’t drink Christ’s blood. My heart is who I am, my very center, my being, my spirit, yet I do not strengthen it with Christ’s body. I know enough to be a learner, I am impatient enough to wait, I am hungry enough to go on a fast, I am rebellious enough to obey. A blessing is enough… for now…

The Liturgy of the Eucharist or the public work of thanksgiving (the Lord’s Supper or Holy Communion) is the center of the Mass and those of us in RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) class do not partake. Instead we cross our arms to signal to the server that we won’t be receiving and they give us a blessing instead. I like it when they smile, like giving a blessing in an awesome thing, so I can smile in return because receiving a blessing is pretty awesome.

It’s not just that we need to understand this Meal as the Catholic church does, though understanding is good. Its that we need to agree with it and become part of it. Mass is not just worship and learning. It is the people renewing their vows, the people becoming joined to Christ in both suffering and promise, the people being united in thanksgiving and forgiveness. And we’re just not united with the people in the building but with believers everywhere and throughout time so that we are even connected to the sacrifices in the Jewish temple long ago as well as ancient Jewish feasts.

This agreement is like a contract only bigger. A contract just covers certain things, a limited and agreed upon list. The Amen we are making in the Eucharist is more of a covenant in that it covers our whole life. We are making promises to live our life a certain way so the Eucharist is shown to be a moral action. We are not passive receivers because the Meal defines who we are.

In the same way the Jewish Passover meal defines who the Jew is; one who obeys God and is saved to be His people. The Passover account is in Exodus 12 and is the story of how the Israelite’s in Egypt had to sacrifice a lamb and mark their doorposts with its blood so the Angel of Death would pass over their house and spare them. Everyone who believed and obeyed was left untouched. But there was also a meal involved, lamb, bread and bitter herbs eaten standing up and ready to travel. We know now that Jesus Christ is the true saving sacrifice that the Passover lamb only represented and the Eucharist is the true Passover meal. We eat at the Eucharistic meal standing up and ready to be sent out as God’s saved people to pass His love on to the world.

“Do this in remembrance of me.”

The remembering we do is more than just recollection. Recollection can lead to a deep gratitude but it will tend to be emotional. True remembering is placing ourselves into the memory and becoming part of the story (as I attempted to portray at the beginning of this post). Then we know we too must be a sacrifice for others. We too must freely pass on grace and mercy to others. We too must be an agent of healing in the world. We too are part of a grand tradition that stretches back into time. In other words we are to be conformed to the image of Christ.

Of course we need help to do any of this and that is the beauty of the Liturgy of the Eucharist because it reminds us that everything we do and say in Christ’s name is as a result of the action of the Holy Spirit in our lives. The four actions in the Liturgy of the Eucharist imitates Christ’s actions at the Last Supper where he Takes the bread, Blesses it, Breaks it and Shares it. In the words, actions, sounds and prayers of this liturgy we are not only put into the story we are shown the Source of all the goodness in our lives.

Communion… community… unity…

Those of us in RCIA cannot yet partake of Holy Communion but be walk down the aisle with our brothers and sisters in Christ anyway because we want to say YES not only to Jesus but to all who are joined to Him. Sometimes unity is about waiting, humility and sacrifice.

May you hear the Holy Spirit’s call to be unified with Christ and his people and act on it.